Sleep Deprivation, and the madness which follows

God, I’d love a cold beer right now. But I’ve got my seventh cup of hot coffee, so that’ll just have to do.

For the third time in two weeks, I made the conscious decision to Ride it Out and stay awake all night in order to sort out my horrendous sleeping pattern once and for all. It didn’t work last time, or the time before that but third time lucky and all that. Failing so, fourth time the charm?

it’s 16:53 as I write THIS word and after a short accidental nap, I’m up and riding out the turbulent waves of Sleep Deprivation yet again. It gets to a point where you accept the madness, the microsleeps, the dosings off and realise ‘This is happening, neck your fucking coffee, scribble your words, pen your sketches blah blah blah zzzzzzz’

Like many other creatives (Or so I assume, who the hell am I to judge?) I find that the hours between midnight and 4am are the most inspiring of times, when the creative juices flow wildly, the midnight oil is sizzling and popping in its lamp and the thought of sleep sickens you. There’s just too much to do. “Why didn’t I write that chapter earlier?” you’ll say to yourself as you glare at your ceiling, checking out your laptop and grabbing your notebook to jot down the idea before it fades away.

Now, I am almost positive this has everything to do with going batshit crazy. Certified insane (or at least will ultimately lead to just that) because like most people, you have work in the morning and it’s too late to get everything done now. You did this last night, and the night before that. Last Tuesday you got a good night sleep, but apart from that, every night has been late (or early) and every morning has been Early (or…late). and it’ll happen again and again. It’s a vicious circle. Work will be a drag. If you’re lucky you won’t doze off mid-conversation with your boss or on the phone to a client (I did this-I’m not ashamed), hell, if down to some miracle you don’t fall asleep on the tube or crash your car on the way in – you’re doing pretty fucking good I’ll say. Don’t let that madness take over, keep it at bay with a flaming torch and Pro Plus, and when the time comes, spark a joint and fall the fuck asleep like a normal person-

-Just to do it all over again.

That’s all.

-B

 

Advertisements

Inspiration

Musings on Motivation

Motivation has always been a fickle beast for creatives everywhere. It can determine the difference between a successful night of getting shit done and hours of resentment.

For me, all day I will dream of getting home, opening up my laptop and getting down and dirty with words. The drive home I’ll imagine pouring a cup of coffee, underlining ‘To Do” on my notepad and penning some scribbles on my venture for the evening.

I get home

And I do everything but that.

Instead, I will tidy my workspace so that it inspires me, clean up around my workspace and maybe read a chapter of whatever is on my nightstand (Terry Pratchett – Guards! Guards! if you were curious). Occasionally I’ll unplug my laptop completely and sit in the corner. As it goes, this is happening as I write this. I have positively moved away from my workspace which I intricately designed to bring out all of my inner musings and imaginative thoughts. Right now I’m perched on my bed, looking at my desk, littered with papers and books and open books and papers. Pens and pencils, half finished sketches and cigarette packets

Now, I think the problem lies with the subject. Personally, everything interests me. The mere sight of an old Victorian building makes me wonder how the architects sat and designed these humble abodes – Where did they design them? who designed the houses they sat in? Walking into a library somewhat overwhelms my senses as I try and picture the billions of words stacked up on the shelves.  It isn’t that we don’t have it in us to get stuff done, but trying to figure out what it is we want to focus on, attempting to nail down our next project (this assignment, for example, is my project for the evening). This could be down to my shitty attention span, maybe.. But something tells me it isn’t. And I believe that something speaks volumes of truth.

I think the trick is, and in a way, this works for me – is to just get it straight out there as and when the idea comes about, don’t fuck about with thinking about it later, don’t imagine sitting at your desk with your Lattè and getting that poem out or planning out your sketch. Go for it. It worked for me tonight, and I hope it works again and again. That Novel won’t write it’s self, so get to it.

I believe in you –

-B

An Introduction

Tuesday 19th July 2016

For years and years, i’ve carried countless notebooks about my person with their accompanying pens, pencils, erasers and respective creative tools. As we speak, I can see three in my peripheral. These notebooks contain everything from my everyday thoughts to theories and questions. Cube sketches – building designs. Old maps – inspirational quotes.

I decided – about an hour ago – I needed a place to offload my thoughts. One single place where I can sit down at the end of the day and have at it with the keyboard. This place is that place.

Enjoy. Or Don’t.

 

-B